Middleboro Mashpee Wampanoag Resort Casino

7/12/07 Like many residents I was disappointed to read the letter rejecting the latest agreement proposal from the Mashpee Wampanoag. I was especially dismayed to read that Chairman Glenn Marshall perceived what he called "an unnecessarily hostile tone" running through the document.

I hope that the town residents have an opportunity to read the agreement as drafted by our representatives to try to judge for themselves to whether they can put themselves in Marshall's place and identify the precise words which he felt conveyed a tone of hostility.

Selectman Adam Bond was quoted in The Cape Cod Times as saying that the tribe has been told that all terms are still negotiable and that there was no hostility intended in the offer. He said "this isn't something personal from the town's perspective... this is just simply trying to make sure that we're covered in the same way they're covered" and added that he is is "raring to go" and prepared to negotiate for as long as it takes to cut a deal.

I don't want to simply hear that no hostility was meant. I want to read the parts of the document that were interpreted to be hostile.

I understand that these are "hardball negotiations" conducted according to lawyerly rules; but my being a psychotherapist and marriage counselor rather than a lawyer I can't help but view them as inherently flawed because the process doesn't allow for an unbiased mediator assuring that each side is sensitive to the feelings, perceptions and  sensibilities of the other.

While we are not planning to marry the Mashpee Wampanoag, we are working towards living together in harmony. It seems to me from reading the Marshall rejection letter that this couple, the tribe and the town, needs premarital counseling as much as they need lawyers.

I have to say that if a couple came to me and one of them said sincerely that he wanted to work with his spouse or potential spouse to benefit the relationship "from the standpoint of mutual cordiality, respect, and trust" I would be encouraging his partner to adopt this position. Whether you trust the sincerity of Glenn Marshall or think that he's engaged in some kind of negotiating ploy, the fact is that the quoted words in the previous sentence are his and they stand on their own as a very powerful expression of feelings.

As a therapist, not a lawyer, I assume that a troubled couple comes to me with the  mutual goal of conflict resolution and neither will misrepresent their feelings.

If a couple came to me for counseling and one of them said "I don't feel that I'm being treated with cordiality, respect or trust" I would want to dig deeply into where those perceptions and feelings came from. My goal would be to help their partner or potential partner recognize what in their own behavior may be causing these perceptions and feelings in the other.

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